hello everyone! first of all if you are reading this dakshita then hit a like and comment to show your presence! and everybody say hello to my friend. in case you aren't able to look directly at her or you haven't met her then let me tell you how she looks. she's thin,short and cheerful. quite my type . dirty minded and naughty. she has vampire like two canines and hair so wavy that i could kill for!
And the season’s back when girls finally feel insecure and
the most disgusting thing ever on the planet but now I don’t feel sympathetic
towards them I need sympathy for my own dear life. I always bluffed about how
beautiful a girl is when she’s comfortable in her own self. With her own body
and there’s nothing she’d want to hide. Even if she’s curvy, fat or thin she’s
satisfied but let me clear it up now. It’s all a trap. Life feels horrible
after my realisation of being fat. I am just of no good. No, I haven’t been
struck by lightning I am struck with cholesterol! Oh my! It would have been
better if I would have been struck by lightning than to face this ugly truth
about myself that makes me want to puke all over the place. I never had that coming.
Actually I am damn confused about how to explain it. I am at a stage of my life
which I thought I’d never end up to. At least not in my teens but I guess the
odds aren’t on my favour. Hit me in the face someone?
So, it all started with a very happy story when I and my
dearest friends were over to a friend’s house for a sleepover after her tiring
dance party. Honestly I’ve always loved dance parties no matter how much my
heels ache the very next day there’s something about them that I can’t resist.
It isn’t only just the dance party but it’s also about what we are going to wear.
basically this is what we talk about weeks ago before we even know the party is
coming but since we are girls and girls like fashion and fashion is fun we
gossip all day long about how glam and tip toed we’ll be looking on the big
day. we all are the suspense breakers as we can’t simply keep our outfit a
secret so all you can do with us is that talk about your outfit as much as
possible and explain each and every millimetre of it and yes, don’t forget your
accessories! I love this topic so much that I can talk about it day and night.
As per my record which completely says that I looked glam in all the recent
parties I am pretty much sure that I’ll look better in my future outfits too!
Honestly I love it when my besties complement me and my collection, the feeling
that one gets at that time is unexplainable. So, every time I go out for a much
awaited shopping spree before picking out just the right outfit I always keep
in mind that it looks exactly the way I want it to look in any party. Not too
decent nor too out of the world. I carefully choose my outfit and no wonder how
many I have but I always fall for the one in the black. Be it totally black or
just a little hint of it. Something is there about it that catches my eye. Well
so, this time I decided to wear the dress my sister bought for me from my dream
destination Paris! Yes, at first i was freaking out too but I just wanted all
eyes on me so I decided to pair that LBD with some black stockings and a pair of
black wedges and a prepped up ponytail. I thought I looked too damn hot for it
but as I had seen the birthday girl’s dress I wanted to be another showstopper
in the room. To my expectation at first everyone was looking at me and admiring
me but then if we move this story a bit ahead when I was at my friend’s home
one of my tall bestie commented that I looked healthy. You obviously know my
reaction very well don’t you? I was like oh my god! What? Do I look fat? Omg!
No! No! Noooooooooooooooooo! For god’s sake no! I asked her if she was serious
and she nodded which seemed pretty much like a yes to me. Well never mind that
I ignored it and cooled myself down but then today during school hours another
best friend came up and told me that her mother even said to her that I looked
healthier than before. Again you very well know my reaction. Kill me
please!!!!????? Why? Why only me? She even pointed out to my diet and told me
to control a bit on my carvings and stay away from my beloved chocolates and
all sorts of unhealthy things. How can I stay away from them? Can you stay away
from your loved ones? Just as I was about to ignore it I sensed a sudden urge
to cry and whined like a two year old in front of her with a very tensed face.
To give me relief she confirmed that it wasn’t much and that she too looked
just like me but like I cared at that time about that. I know they all were
just lies. Sad lies. I whined all my way in the recess and asked one of my boy
friends to tell me whether I seemed fat from anywhere and he at first took it
in a very casual way and replied with a very satisfying no but then he snapped
back and instantly replied that my face looked a bit smaller than my body! Oh
no! I don’t know what to do! So as soon I rushed home I asked my father to tell
me a few exercises which help reduce fat. I feel dumb now rivewing myself in
the mirror now since like from the time I have reached home. I feel disgusting
not just because I was told I looked fatter but also because I never believed
in any of this. Where am the me which said once that beauty comes in all shapes
and sizes? Where is that me? At this time I am questioning myself if I actually
think that my theories are correct or just fake. Am I not pretty just because
of my weight?
