just because i am fat

hello everyone! first of all if you are reading this dakshita then hit a like and comment to show your presence! and everybody say hello to my friend. in case you aren't able to look directly at her or you haven't met her then let me tell you how she looks. she's thin,short and cheerful. quite my type . dirty minded and naughty. she has vampire like two canines and hair so wavy that i could kill for!

And the season’s back when girls finally feel insecure and the most disgusting thing ever on the planet but now I don’t feel sympathetic towards them I need sympathy for my own dear life. I always bluffed about how beautiful a girl is when she’s comfortable in her own self. With her own body and there’s nothing she’d want to hide. Even if she’s curvy, fat or thin she’s satisfied but let me clear it up now. It’s all a trap. Life feels horrible after my realisation of being fat. I am just of no good. No, I haven’t been struck by lightning I am struck with cholesterol! Oh my! It would have been better if I would have been struck by lightning than to face this ugly truth about myself that makes me want to puke all over the place. I never had that coming. Actually I am damn confused about how to explain it. I am at a stage of my life which I thought I’d never end up to. At least not in my teens but I guess the odds aren’t on my favour. Hit me in the face someone?

So, it all started with a very happy story when I and my dearest friends were over to a friend’s house for a sleepover after her tiring dance party. Honestly I’ve always loved dance parties no matter how much my heels ache the very next day there’s something about them that I can’t resist. It isn’t only just the dance party but it’s also about what we are going to wear. basically this is what we talk about weeks ago before we even know the party is coming but since we are girls and girls like fashion and fashion is fun we gossip all day long about how glam and tip toed we’ll be looking on the big day. we all are the suspense breakers as we can’t simply keep our outfit a secret so all you can do with us is that talk about your outfit as much as possible and explain each and every millimetre of it and yes, don’t forget your accessories! I love this topic so much that I can talk about it day and night. As per my record which completely says that I looked glam in all the recent parties I am pretty much sure that I’ll look better in my future outfits too! Honestly I love it when my besties complement me and my collection, the feeling that one gets at that time is unexplainable. So, every time I go out for a much awaited shopping spree before picking out just the right outfit I always keep in mind that it looks exactly the way I want it to look in any party. Not too decent nor too out of the world. I carefully choose my outfit and no wonder how many I have but I always fall for the one in the black. Be it totally black or just a little hint of it. Something is there about it that catches my eye. Well so, this time I decided to wear the dress my sister bought for me from my dream destination Paris! Yes, at first i was freaking out too but I just wanted all eyes on me so I decided to pair that LBD with some black stockings and a pair of black wedges and a prepped up ponytail. I thought I looked too damn hot for it but as I had seen the birthday girl’s dress I wanted to be another showstopper in the room. To my expectation at first everyone was looking at me and admiring me but then if we move this story a bit ahead when I was at my friend’s home one of my tall bestie commented that I looked healthy. You obviously know my reaction very well don’t you? I was like oh my god! What? Do I look fat? Omg! No! No! Noooooooooooooooooo! For god’s sake no! I asked her if she was serious and she nodded which seemed pretty much like a yes to me. Well never mind that I ignored it and cooled myself down but then today during school hours another best friend came up and told me that her mother even said to her that I looked healthier than before. Again you very well know my reaction. Kill me please!!!!????? Why? Why only me? She even pointed out to my diet and told me to control a bit on my carvings and stay away from my beloved chocolates and all sorts of unhealthy things. How can I stay away from them? Can you stay away from your loved ones? Just as I was about to ignore it I sensed a sudden urge to cry and whined like a two year old in front of her with a very tensed face. To give me relief she confirmed that it wasn’t much and that she too looked just like me but like I cared at that time about that. I know they all were just lies. Sad lies. I whined all my way in the recess and asked one of my boy friends to tell me whether I seemed fat from anywhere and he at first took it in a very casual way and replied with a very satisfying no but then he snapped back and instantly replied that my face looked a bit smaller than my body! Oh no! I don’t know what to do! So as soon I rushed home I asked my father to tell me a few exercises which help reduce fat. I feel dumb now rivewing myself in the mirror now since like from the time I have reached home. I feel disgusting not just because I was told I looked fatter but also because I never believed in any of this. Where am the me which said once that beauty comes in all shapes and sizes? Where is that me? At this time I am questioning myself if I actually think that my theories are correct or just fake. Am I not pretty just because of my weight?

#HBD

Birthdays are just another year to your life but I think birthdays are another punch in the face for 365 days. Just kidding. Birthday is the most awaited day in one’s life even a 90 year old man waits for it. We just wait for the day when we add a plus one to our age and this excitement gradually decreases as a person becomes mature or shall I say an adult. The way kids wait for birthdays is the way I’d never see someone older be happy. The sparkle in their eyes will be lost by the time they will be going for a college degree. A child’s birthday is always so magical. Like a paradise. Filled with so much fun and enthusiasm and an adult’s birthday are considered just a formality. Neither the one celebrating is happy nor is the one who is invited happy. It’s like something forced onto you when actually you hate it.

Playing games at a birthday is just so not done. I mean as a small kid I used to go to birthday parties and I used to be so nervous if I will win or not and even today I was damn nervous when I went to my friend’s birthday party. God when will I get confident? But while I am at adult birthday parties all I do is yawn and id die if I don’t have my phone with me. Pretty much sums it all up.

For me birthdays are just another excuse to celebrate. Just a day to be happy and forget all the other bad things happening in life. The day when you should finally come out of your cave and smile at the sunshine. If it’s a birthday the everything’s better. Even the animals seem to be talking to you. You feel so happy and just don’t want it to end. The best moment is when it starts at 0:00 a.m. and the hardest moment is when its 11:59 p.m. feels like grabbing every second and then replaying it. Never want it to stop. Birthday is the day when all that matters is you. No one else because you were born that day not your neighbour. So stop whining about how miserable life is because you should be grateful of the time that you have and that you have passed it by being alive. Be grateful to have faced the day happily in your life and celebrate your birthday as if there won’t be another.

My birthday was very special. This year not only that I turned 13! (Finally!!!!!) And also that I celebrated it in a very nice way! Did I mentioned that my birthday is on 13^th may (yeah, you can congratulate me the next time) and is on the same date as a birthday of a very popular bollywood actress? No? Well now you know it. This year my friend gave me a very special surprise! I had held the birthday party in a mall and basically the plan was to hang around and then go for a movie. So, as the school ended after 12:30 we decided to meet at 1:30 and stay there till 7 but me and my friend waited there for the rest of our friends till we finally saw them running on the second floor from the ground floor. I called my friend and asked him where was he and to my response he said that he was on his way! Suddenly both my girlfriends who were with me all this time got a call from someone and left! I was standing by myself all alone on the ground floor waiting for someone. Finally they all arrived and I’ll tell you about the whole incident which took place sometime later as right now I got to write but I am in hurry. They came with a chocolate cake which couldn’t be carried away with us while we will be going inside the scary house. Or maybe there I’ll just smash it onto someone’s face in terror but my friends won’t actually would have let it happened so we all decided to keep it in a shop from where we can get a good view of its condition as well as get rid of it. So, we went into the store and requested the shopkeeper to keep the cake and a scrapbook which my beloved besties made for me inside their shop and thankfully they agreed! We went on for the scary house where we all decided to go together in a group of maybe 11-12 people and two after two. You know about the three scary things which I hate the most in my life? If not then let me tell you 1.spiders ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!!! 2. Dark I don’t want to go in the dark!  3. Ghosts aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! And in that situation I was supposed to be with theBirthdays are just another year to your life but I think birthdays are another punch in the face for 365 days. Just kidding. Birthday is the most awaited day in one’s life even a 90 year old man waits for it. We just wait for the day when we add a plus one to our age and this excitement gradually decreases as a person becomes mature or shall I say an adult. The way kids wait for birthdays is the way I’d never see someone older be happy. The sparkle in their eyes will be lost by the time they will be going for a college degree. A child’s birthday is always so magical. Like a paradise. Filled with so much fun and enthusiasm and an adult’s birthday are considered just a formality. Neither the one celebrating is happy nor is the one who is invited happy. It’s like something forced onto you when actually you hate it.

Playing games at a birthday is just so not done. I mean as a small kid I used to go to birthday parties and I used to be so nervous if I will win or not and even today I was damn nervous when I went to my friend’s birthday party. God when will I get confident? But while I am at adult birthday parties all I do is yawn and id die if I don’t have my phone with me. Pretty much sums it all up.

For me birthdays are just another excuse to celebrate. Just a day to be happy and forget all the other bad things happening in life. The day when you should finally come out of your cave and smile at the sunshine. If it’s a birthday the everything’s better. Even the animals seem to be talking to you. You feel so happy and just don’t want it to end. The best moment is when it starts at 0:00 a.m. and the hardest moment is when its 11:59 p.m. feels like grabbing every second and then replaying it. Never want it to stop. Birthday is the day when all that matters is you. No one else because you were born that day not your neighbour. So stop whining about how miserable life is because you should be grateful of the time that you have and that you have passed it by being alive. Be grateful to have faced the day happily in your life and celebrate your birthday as if there won’t be another.

My birthday was very special. This year not only that I turned 13! (Finally!!!!!) And also that I celebrated it in a very nice way! Did I mentioned that my birthday is on 13^th may (yeah, you can congratulate me the next time) and is on the same date as a birthday of a very popular bollywood actress? No? Well now you know it. This year my friend gave me a very special surprise! I had held the birthday party in a mall and basically the plan was to hang around and then go for a movie. So, as the school ended after 12:30 we decided to meet at 1:30 and stay there till 7 but me and my friend waited there for the rest of our friends till we finally saw them running on the second floor from the ground floor. I called my friend and asked him where was he and to my response he said that he was on his way! Suddenly both my girlfriends who were with me all this time got a call from someone and left! I was standing by myself all alone on the ground floor waiting for someone. Finally they all arrived and I’ll tell you about the whole incident which took place sometime later as right now I got to write but I am in hurry. They came with a chocolate cake which couldn’t be carried away with us while we will be going inside the scary house. Or maybe there I’ll just smash it onto someone’s face in terror but my friends won’t actually would have let it happened so we all decided to keep it in a shop from where we can get a good view of its condition as well as get rid of it. So, we went into the store and requested the shopkeeper to keep the cake and a scrapbook which my beloved besties made for me inside their shop and thankfully they agreed! We went on for the scary house where we all decided to go together in a group of maybe 11-12 people and two after two. You know about the three scary things which I hate the most in my life? If not then let me tell you 1.spiders ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!!! 2. Dark I don’t want to go in the dark!  3. Ghosts aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! And in that situation I was supposed to be with theBirthdays are just another year to your life but I think birthdays are another punch in the face for 365 days. Just kidding. Birthday is the most awaited day in one’s life even a 90 year old man waits for it. We just wait for the day when we add a plus one to our age and this excitement gradually decreases as a person becomes mature or shall I say an adult. The way kids wait for birthdays is the way I’d never see someone older be happy. The sparkle in their eyes will be lost by the time they will be going for a college degree. A child’s birthday is always so magical. Like a paradise. Filled with so much fun and enthusiasm and an adult’s birthday are considered just a formality. Neither the one celebrating is happy nor is the one who is invited happy. It’s like something forced onto you when actually you hate it.

Playing games at a birthday is just so not done. I mean as a small kid I used to go to birthday parties and I used to be so nervous if I will win or not and even today I was damn nervous when I went to my friend’s birthday party. God when will I get confident? But while I am at adult birthday parties all I do is yawn and id die if I don’t have my phone with me. Pretty much sums it all up.

For me birthdays are just another excuse to celebrate. Just a day to be happy and forget all the other bad things happening in life. The day when you should finally come out of your cave and smile at the sunshine. If it’s a birthday the everything’s better. Even the animals seem to be talking to you. You feel so happy and just don’t want it to end. The best moment is when it starts at 0:00 a.m. and the hardest moment is when its 11:59 p.m. feels like grabbing every second and then replaying it. Never want it to stop. Birthday is the day when all that matters is you. No one else because you were born that day not your neighbour. So stop whining about how miserable life is because you should be grateful of the time that you have and that you have passed it by being alive. Be grateful to have faced the day happily in your life and celebrate your birthday as if there won’t be another.

My birthday was very special. This year not only that I turned 13! (Finally!!!!!) And also that I celebrated it in a very nice way! Did I mentioned that my birthday is on 13^th may (yeah, you can congratulate me the next time) and is on the same date as a birthday of a very popular bollywood actress? No? Well now you know it. This year my friend gave me a very special surprise! I had held the birthday party in a mall and basically the plan was to hang around and then go for a movie. So, as the school ended after 12:30 we decided to meet at 1:30 and stay there till 7 but me and my friend waited there for the rest of our friends till we finally saw them running on the second floor from the ground floor. I called my friend and asked him where was he and to my response he said that he was on his way! Suddenly both my girlfriends who were with me all this time got a call from someone and left! I was standing by myself all alone on the ground floor waiting for someone. Finally they all arrived and I’ll tell you about the whole incident which took place sometime later as right now I got to write but I am in hurry. They came with a chocolate cake which couldn’t be carried away with us while we will be going inside the scary house. Or maybe there I’ll just smash it onto someone’s face in terror but my friends won’t actually would have let it happened so we all decided to keep it in a shop from where we can get a good view of its condition as well as get rid of it. So, we went into the store and requested the shopkeeper to keep the cake and a scrapbook which my beloved besties made for me inside their shop and thankfully they agreed! We went on for the scary house where we all decided to go together in a group of maybe 11-12 people and two after two. You know about the three scary things which I hate the most in my life? If not then let me tell you 1.spiders ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!!! 2. Dark I don’t want to go in the dark!  3. Ghosts aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! And in that situation I was supposed to be with atleast someone

oh my tiffin

"yes, i ate but just a little.........."

isn't it tiring eating the same food again and again . forcing the taste buds to forget how to taste but still eat the same crap. yes, it's a pretty common issue among us when me and my friends were toddlers but if saying no to all the regular stuff that i eat is being a child then yes, i am a toddler. i remember how fat i used to be(thank god that time took my fat away!) drinking milk and only milk. all i could ever desire was milk. but now feels like the biggest mistake of my life. milk? and me? some things don't get along like north and south pole, similarly this case is also one. when people or shall i say some up close and personal relatives come together there is a jolt of laughter only because of the incidences which happened in the past. each morning i am reminded of the fact that i loved milk and like i said "loved milk" i mean it in the past tense. time changes everything for instance look at me. a living example. i don't even like the things i liked a month back and you are reminding me of the things i admired when i was just three years old? i hope you got the point. but when i asked myself what could have been the reasons for such a disastrous change here's what i got

1. emotions.  while dealing with hormonal changes can be quite stressful i can actually explain how emotions change from second to second. the swing never stops . now i get the reason why i am so confused before ordering something . 
2. mom!!!!! let us all accept the fact that from the beginning of the life till it's universal end we all have our meals scheduled by moms . no matter how much swag you have on but ultimately it's your mom who keeps you healthy enough to put all of that on. thus we can conclude that it's never been your choice it's just you meal which your mother cooks with her ideas.
3. health:( sometimes you have to give up something for something . same is with the body and burgers. *no one can get both!* it's one of the critical moments when you have two ways to choose. one is the path leading to great health and fitness with pictures of glowing people and their happy lives and most importantly their long life. on the other hand is a cheesy double patty burger!!!!!!!! i know, i know! you'll choose the burger . one moment of silence for those who gave up burgers.
4. last but not the least our FRIENDS  this idea came up to me today while i was on duty at my school and for the first time in history i was eating my lunch alone. completely isolated. suddenly i felt like a brake inside my stomach which said that i can't eat more. stomach had a full alarm. this time i realized that what i was left with was almost half of the tiffin . the question was that how did it happen? yes, because half of the tiffin is robbed by my besties. sadly the portion i ate wasn't enough . 

chips please?????????

 

 

 

 

 

Hello everyone! It’s me!!! So, today I will be writing about the types of people I have come across till now. Wether it is at a general store, grocery shopping, playing football or even at your own house. There are people who you can’t just avoid

The philosophers

Now, there comes a time in everyone’s life when they can be officially called cracked. Basically cracked people may cut your hair, try to kill you, chase you with nutrella in their hand (not such a bad death then!) or whatever plan they may have but if referring to “the philosophers” then out of all these ways you might just want to bang your head to the wall or kill yourself grabbing the nearest object found. Philosophies are great but not so great when delivered in the speech of erm…. you know!

Like I said that such people can be found anywhere and anywhere means that even a place which is most likely to be of you own but no, these philosophers don’t understand that. So, to prove it let me just pen down an incident of mine with a categorised person.

It was a fine evening, me waiting in my mom’s chamber eating from a bag of chips which I rarely got to lay my hands on. I was on top of the world savouring each and every bite I could get. Ah! What a day that was but like every good thing there needs to be a horrible one too I think I just received my other share of fate too. my mother’s a doctor and most of the times when I was a tad younger I used to visit her hospital and sit there inside her chamber most probably sitting on her chair and eating something. No one had ever uttered a word against it because HEY! IT’S MY MOTHER’S CHAMBER! MY MOTHER DA BOSS!!! YOU NO GOT ANY RIGHT OVER HERE!  And yes, I was right. It was my mother’s property and I was free to use it unless of course she told me not to. Well, where were we? Yeah, me sitting firmly on the chair.  Eating from a bag of chips and when suddenly my mother came in with some patient of hers. Nothing was weird as no one was talking. Me sitting in the corner probably hard to notice but I guess I was audible with that licking and picking sound I was making and the sound of the plastic wrapper squashed and shaked. Suddenly my mother went out of the chamber for some reason leaving that tall man with a turban inside with me. He saw me, then that packet of chips and I was like don’t you dare to even look at my property! It’s mine. My chips! But he kept on looking and I being too stubborn kept on eating. Everything was alright when he suddenly spoke out of nowhere “hasn’t you mom taught you to offer someone first before you eat?” (Silence) (Silence)(Silence) all I could manage to do was squeaking a little smile as he faced his back towards me and then inside of my head I was like WHAT THE HELL! MY CHIPS, MY BAG, MY MOTHER’S ROOM AND I AM EATING , MINDING MY OWN BUSINESSS BUT YOU OUT OF NOWHERE COME AND TEACH ME MANNERS? DO I LOOK ILLMANNERED? UH! I GUESS NOT! YOU SHOULD KNOW WHO YOU TALKING TO MAN! I MEAN WATCH OUT!

While on the outside I was like -_-

As I grew up to be more wonderfulJ :p I realised that even though I thought about it as a good think that someone was teaching me manners be it any outsider who was kind enough to do that. Ah!!! Enough of lies. I actually never felt so when I recalled that incident but yeah, it was weird. I had no comeback at him and even if I had he would have found another reason to call me uncivilised like “don’t your parents teach you not to answer back?” or “don’t your parents teach you atticates?” or anything else but then I think of a re-do of that incident. Maybe what would have happened if I had offered him a chip? Maybe I would have received a thank you or maybe a few words in the honour of the most mannerful girl in the world! Or maybe a bit less appreciation. What if I had just left the room? Maybe my entire problem would have been solved. Only if I would have not been so lazy. But you can’t change destiny. So, most probably it was for the best and to save me from people like that!vvvv