just because i am fat

hello everyone! first of all if you are reading this dakshita then hit a like and comment to show your presence! and everybody say hello to my friend. in case you aren't able to look directly at her or you haven't met her then let me tell you how she looks. she's thin,short and cheerful. quite my type . dirty minded and naughty. she has vampire like two canines and hair so wavy that i could kill for!

And the season’s back when girls finally feel insecure and the most disgusting thing ever on the planet but now I don’t feel sympathetic towards them I need sympathy for my own dear life. I always bluffed about how beautiful a girl is when she’s comfortable in her own self. With her own body and there’s nothing she’d want to hide. Even if she’s curvy, fat or thin she’s satisfied but let me clear it up now. It’s all a trap. Life feels horrible after my realisation of being fat. I am just of no good. No, I haven’t been struck by lightning I am struck with cholesterol! Oh my! It would have been better if I would have been struck by lightning than to face this ugly truth about myself that makes me want to puke all over the place. I never had that coming. Actually I am damn confused about how to explain it. I am at a stage of my life which I thought I’d never end up to. At least not in my teens but I guess the odds aren’t on my favour. Hit me in the face someone?

So, it all started with a very happy story when I and my dearest friends were over to a friend’s house for a sleepover after her tiring dance party. Honestly I’ve always loved dance parties no matter how much my heels ache the very next day there’s something about them that I can’t resist. It isn’t only just the dance party but it’s also about what we are going to wear. basically this is what we talk about weeks ago before we even know the party is coming but since we are girls and girls like fashion and fashion is fun we gossip all day long about how glam and tip toed we’ll be looking on the big day. we all are the suspense breakers as we can’t simply keep our outfit a secret so all you can do with us is that talk about your outfit as much as possible and explain each and every millimetre of it and yes, don’t forget your accessories! I love this topic so much that I can talk about it day and night. As per my record which completely says that I looked glam in all the recent parties I am pretty much sure that I’ll look better in my future outfits too! Honestly I love it when my besties complement me and my collection, the feeling that one gets at that time is unexplainable. So, every time I go out for a much awaited shopping spree before picking out just the right outfit I always keep in mind that it looks exactly the way I want it to look in any party. Not too decent nor too out of the world. I carefully choose my outfit and no wonder how many I have but I always fall for the one in the black. Be it totally black or just a little hint of it. Something is there about it that catches my eye. Well so, this time I decided to wear the dress my sister bought for me from my dream destination Paris! Yes, at first i was freaking out too but I just wanted all eyes on me so I decided to pair that LBD with some black stockings and a pair of black wedges and a prepped up ponytail. I thought I looked too damn hot for it but as I had seen the birthday girl’s dress I wanted to be another showstopper in the room. To my expectation at first everyone was looking at me and admiring me but then if we move this story a bit ahead when I was at my friend’s home one of my tall bestie commented that I looked healthy. You obviously know my reaction very well don’t you? I was like oh my god! What? Do I look fat? Omg! No! No! Noooooooooooooooooo! For god’s sake no! I asked her if she was serious and she nodded which seemed pretty much like a yes to me. Well never mind that I ignored it and cooled myself down but then today during school hours another best friend came up and told me that her mother even said to her that I looked healthier than before. Again you very well know my reaction. Kill me please!!!!????? Why? Why only me? She even pointed out to my diet and told me to control a bit on my carvings and stay away from my beloved chocolates and all sorts of unhealthy things. How can I stay away from them? Can you stay away from your loved ones? Just as I was about to ignore it I sensed a sudden urge to cry and whined like a two year old in front of her with a very tensed face. To give me relief she confirmed that it wasn’t much and that she too looked just like me but like I cared at that time about that. I know they all were just lies. Sad lies. I whined all my way in the recess and asked one of my boy friends to tell me whether I seemed fat from anywhere and he at first took it in a very casual way and replied with a very satisfying no but then he snapped back and instantly replied that my face looked a bit smaller than my body! Oh no! I don’t know what to do! So as soon I rushed home I asked my father to tell me a few exercises which help reduce fat. I feel dumb now rivewing myself in the mirror now since like from the time I have reached home. I feel disgusting not just because I was told I looked fatter but also because I never believed in any of this. Where am the me which said once that beauty comes in all shapes and sizes? Where is that me? At this time I am questioning myself if I actually think that my theories are correct or just fake. Am I not pretty just because of my weight?

#HBD

Birthdays are just another year to your life but I think birthdays are another punch in the face for 365 days. Just kidding. Birthday is the most awaited day in one’s life even a 90 year old man waits for it. We just wait for the day when we add a plus one to our age and this excitement gradually decreases as a person becomes mature or shall I say an adult. The way kids wait for birthdays is the way I’d never see someone older be happy. The sparkle in their eyes will be lost by the time they will be going for a college degree. A child’s birthday is always so magical. Like a paradise. Filled with so much fun and enthusiasm and an adult’s birthday are considered just a formality. Neither the one celebrating is happy nor is the one who is invited happy. It’s like something forced onto you when actually you hate it.

Playing games at a birthday is just so not done. I mean as a small kid I used to go to birthday parties and I used to be so nervous if I will win or not and even today I was damn nervous when I went to my friend’s birthday party. God when will I get confident? But while I am at adult birthday parties all I do is yawn and id die if I don’t have my phone with me. Pretty much sums it all up.

For me birthdays are just another excuse to celebrate. Just a day to be happy and forget all the other bad things happening in life. The day when you should finally come out of your cave and smile at the sunshine. If it’s a birthday the everything’s better. Even the animals seem to be talking to you. You feel so happy and just don’t want it to end. The best moment is when it starts at 0:00 a.m. and the hardest moment is when its 11:59 p.m. feels like grabbing every second and then replaying it. Never want it to stop. Birthday is the day when all that matters is you. No one else because you were born that day not your neighbour. So stop whining about how miserable life is because you should be grateful of the time that you have and that you have passed it by being alive. Be grateful to have faced the day happily in your life and celebrate your birthday as if there won’t be another.

My birthday was very special. This year not only that I turned 13! (Finally!!!!!) And also that I celebrated it in a very nice way! Did I mentioned that my birthday is on 13^th may (yeah, you can congratulate me the next time) and is on the same date as a birthday of a very popular bollywood actress? No? Well now you know it. This year my friend gave me a very special surprise! I had held the birthday party in a mall and basically the plan was to hang around and then go for a movie. So, as the school ended after 12:30 we decided to meet at 1:30 and stay there till 7 but me and my friend waited there for the rest of our friends till we finally saw them running on the second floor from the ground floor. I called my friend and asked him where was he and to my response he said that he was on his way! Suddenly both my girlfriends who were with me all this time got a call from someone and left! I was standing by myself all alone on the ground floor waiting for someone. Finally they all arrived and I’ll tell you about the whole incident which took place sometime later as right now I got to write but I am in hurry. They came with a chocolate cake which couldn’t be carried away with us while we will be going inside the scary house. Or maybe there I’ll just smash it onto someone’s face in terror but my friends won’t actually would have let it happened so we all decided to keep it in a shop from where we can get a good view of its condition as well as get rid of it. So, we went into the store and requested the shopkeeper to keep the cake and a scrapbook which my beloved besties made for me inside their shop and thankfully they agreed! We went on for the scary house where we all decided to go together in a group of maybe 11-12 people and two after two. You know about the three scary things which I hate the most in my life? If not then let me tell you 1.spiders ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!!! 2. Dark I don’t want to go in the dark!  3. Ghosts aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! And in that situation I was supposed to be with theBirthdays are just another year to your life but I think birthdays are another punch in the face for 365 days. Just kidding. Birthday is the most awaited day in one’s life even a 90 year old man waits for it. We just wait for the day when we add a plus one to our age and this excitement gradually decreases as a person becomes mature or shall I say an adult. The way kids wait for birthdays is the way I’d never see someone older be happy. The sparkle in their eyes will be lost by the time they will be going for a college degree. A child’s birthday is always so magical. Like a paradise. Filled with so much fun and enthusiasm and an adult’s birthday are considered just a formality. Neither the one celebrating is happy nor is the one who is invited happy. It’s like something forced onto you when actually you hate it.

Playing games at a birthday is just so not done. I mean as a small kid I used to go to birthday parties and I used to be so nervous if I will win or not and even today I was damn nervous when I went to my friend’s birthday party. God when will I get confident? But while I am at adult birthday parties all I do is yawn and id die if I don’t have my phone with me. Pretty much sums it all up.

For me birthdays are just another excuse to celebrate. Just a day to be happy and forget all the other bad things happening in life. The day when you should finally come out of your cave and smile at the sunshine. If it’s a birthday the everything’s better. Even the animals seem to be talking to you. You feel so happy and just don’t want it to end. The best moment is when it starts at 0:00 a.m. and the hardest moment is when its 11:59 p.m. feels like grabbing every second and then replaying it. Never want it to stop. Birthday is the day when all that matters is you. No one else because you were born that day not your neighbour. So stop whining about how miserable life is because you should be grateful of the time that you have and that you have passed it by being alive. Be grateful to have faced the day happily in your life and celebrate your birthday as if there won’t be another.

My birthday was very special. This year not only that I turned 13! (Finally!!!!!) And also that I celebrated it in a very nice way! Did I mentioned that my birthday is on 13^th may (yeah, you can congratulate me the next time) and is on the same date as a birthday of a very popular bollywood actress? No? Well now you know it. This year my friend gave me a very special surprise! I had held the birthday party in a mall and basically the plan was to hang around and then go for a movie. So, as the school ended after 12:30 we decided to meet at 1:30 and stay there till 7 but me and my friend waited there for the rest of our friends till we finally saw them running on the second floor from the ground floor. I called my friend and asked him where was he and to my response he said that he was on his way! Suddenly both my girlfriends who were with me all this time got a call from someone and left! I was standing by myself all alone on the ground floor waiting for someone. Finally they all arrived and I’ll tell you about the whole incident which took place sometime later as right now I got to write but I am in hurry. They came with a chocolate cake which couldn’t be carried away with us while we will be going inside the scary house. Or maybe there I’ll just smash it onto someone’s face in terror but my friends won’t actually would have let it happened so we all decided to keep it in a shop from where we can get a good view of its condition as well as get rid of it. So, we went into the store and requested the shopkeeper to keep the cake and a scrapbook which my beloved besties made for me inside their shop and thankfully they agreed! We went on for the scary house where we all decided to go together in a group of maybe 11-12 people and two after two. You know about the three scary things which I hate the most in my life? If not then let me tell you 1.spiders ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!!! 2. Dark I don’t want to go in the dark!  3. Ghosts aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! And in that situation I was supposed to be with theBirthdays are just another year to your life but I think birthdays are another punch in the face for 365 days. Just kidding. Birthday is the most awaited day in one’s life even a 90 year old man waits for it. We just wait for the day when we add a plus one to our age and this excitement gradually decreases as a person becomes mature or shall I say an adult. The way kids wait for birthdays is the way I’d never see someone older be happy. The sparkle in their eyes will be lost by the time they will be going for a college degree. A child’s birthday is always so magical. Like a paradise. Filled with so much fun and enthusiasm and an adult’s birthday are considered just a formality. Neither the one celebrating is happy nor is the one who is invited happy. It’s like something forced onto you when actually you hate it.

Playing games at a birthday is just so not done. I mean as a small kid I used to go to birthday parties and I used to be so nervous if I will win or not and even today I was damn nervous when I went to my friend’s birthday party. God when will I get confident? But while I am at adult birthday parties all I do is yawn and id die if I don’t have my phone with me. Pretty much sums it all up.

For me birthdays are just another excuse to celebrate. Just a day to be happy and forget all the other bad things happening in life. The day when you should finally come out of your cave and smile at the sunshine. If it’s a birthday the everything’s better. Even the animals seem to be talking to you. You feel so happy and just don’t want it to end. The best moment is when it starts at 0:00 a.m. and the hardest moment is when its 11:59 p.m. feels like grabbing every second and then replaying it. Never want it to stop. Birthday is the day when all that matters is you. No one else because you were born that day not your neighbour. So stop whining about how miserable life is because you should be grateful of the time that you have and that you have passed it by being alive. Be grateful to have faced the day happily in your life and celebrate your birthday as if there won’t be another.

My birthday was very special. This year not only that I turned 13! (Finally!!!!!) And also that I celebrated it in a very nice way! Did I mentioned that my birthday is on 13^th may (yeah, you can congratulate me the next time) and is on the same date as a birthday of a very popular bollywood actress? No? Well now you know it. This year my friend gave me a very special surprise! I had held the birthday party in a mall and basically the plan was to hang around and then go for a movie. So, as the school ended after 12:30 we decided to meet at 1:30 and stay there till 7 but me and my friend waited there for the rest of our friends till we finally saw them running on the second floor from the ground floor. I called my friend and asked him where was he and to my response he said that he was on his way! Suddenly both my girlfriends who were with me all this time got a call from someone and left! I was standing by myself all alone on the ground floor waiting for someone. Finally they all arrived and I’ll tell you about the whole incident which took place sometime later as right now I got to write but I am in hurry. They came with a chocolate cake which couldn’t be carried away with us while we will be going inside the scary house. Or maybe there I’ll just smash it onto someone’s face in terror but my friends won’t actually would have let it happened so we all decided to keep it in a shop from where we can get a good view of its condition as well as get rid of it. So, we went into the store and requested the shopkeeper to keep the cake and a scrapbook which my beloved besties made for me inside their shop and thankfully they agreed! We went on for the scary house where we all decided to go together in a group of maybe 11-12 people and two after two. You know about the three scary things which I hate the most in my life? If not then let me tell you 1.spiders ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!!! 2. Dark I don’t want to go in the dark!  3. Ghosts aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! And in that situation I was supposed to be with atleast someone

backbitching

people are people. they are untrustworthy and unreliable. admit it there has been at least one point in your life, one certain point when all your faith in humanity went inside a dustbin . in day to day life i often come across such circumstances but today i just want to light fire to the dustbin and burn the person who had betrayed me , with it. so much pain!!!!!!!!!! so, i'd just like to share another of my poems to express my thoughts. please don't think i am a mentally ill patient!



sorry is that what you speak?
when you're done to shout and scream?
sorry is that what you say?
after you hate and break?

and you try to scream and hide
after all the rules you abide
and then you try and make your way....
sorry is then what you say?

you betray you fight
i listen and i try
i try, to not to be rude
but oh your silly attitude
i smile and i forget
but i swear i won't do that again
because all i have done is regret

enough have i had
and i don't deserve that!
why should i wait for you?
when you are always leaving my side
why should i waste my tears ?
when you think that you're right!

love me or love me not
i don't think i care
anymore of what's going on with you
and don't meddle with my affairs.