just because i am fat

hello everyone! first of all if you are reading this dakshita then hit a like and comment to show your presence! and everybody say hello to my friend. in case you aren't able to look directly at her or you haven't met her then let me tell you how she looks. she's thin,short and cheerful. quite my type . dirty minded and naughty. she has vampire like two canines and hair so wavy that i could kill for!

And the season’s back when girls finally feel insecure and the most disgusting thing ever on the planet but now I don’t feel sympathetic towards them I need sympathy for my own dear life. I always bluffed about how beautiful a girl is when she’s comfortable in her own self. With her own body and there’s nothing she’d want to hide. Even if she’s curvy, fat or thin she’s satisfied but let me clear it up now. It’s all a trap. Life feels horrible after my realisation of being fat. I am just of no good. No, I haven’t been struck by lightning I am struck with cholesterol! Oh my! It would have been better if I would have been struck by lightning than to face this ugly truth about myself that makes me want to puke all over the place. I never had that coming. Actually I am damn confused about how to explain it. I am at a stage of my life which I thought I’d never end up to. At least not in my teens but I guess the odds aren’t on my favour. Hit me in the face someone?

So, it all started with a very happy story when I and my dearest friends were over to a friend’s house for a sleepover after her tiring dance party. Honestly I’ve always loved dance parties no matter how much my heels ache the very next day there’s something about them that I can’t resist. It isn’t only just the dance party but it’s also about what we are going to wear. basically this is what we talk about weeks ago before we even know the party is coming but since we are girls and girls like fashion and fashion is fun we gossip all day long about how glam and tip toed we’ll be looking on the big day. we all are the suspense breakers as we can’t simply keep our outfit a secret so all you can do with us is that talk about your outfit as much as possible and explain each and every millimetre of it and yes, don’t forget your accessories! I love this topic so much that I can talk about it day and night. As per my record which completely says that I looked glam in all the recent parties I am pretty much sure that I’ll look better in my future outfits too! Honestly I love it when my besties complement me and my collection, the feeling that one gets at that time is unexplainable. So, every time I go out for a much awaited shopping spree before picking out just the right outfit I always keep in mind that it looks exactly the way I want it to look in any party. Not too decent nor too out of the world. I carefully choose my outfit and no wonder how many I have but I always fall for the one in the black. Be it totally black or just a little hint of it. Something is there about it that catches my eye. Well so, this time I decided to wear the dress my sister bought for me from my dream destination Paris! Yes, at first i was freaking out too but I just wanted all eyes on me so I decided to pair that LBD with some black stockings and a pair of black wedges and a prepped up ponytail. I thought I looked too damn hot for it but as I had seen the birthday girl’s dress I wanted to be another showstopper in the room. To my expectation at first everyone was looking at me and admiring me but then if we move this story a bit ahead when I was at my friend’s home one of my tall bestie commented that I looked healthy. You obviously know my reaction very well don’t you? I was like oh my god! What? Do I look fat? Omg! No! No! Noooooooooooooooooo! For god’s sake no! I asked her if she was serious and she nodded which seemed pretty much like a yes to me. Well never mind that I ignored it and cooled myself down but then today during school hours another best friend came up and told me that her mother even said to her that I looked healthier than before. Again you very well know my reaction. Kill me please!!!!????? Why? Why only me? She even pointed out to my diet and told me to control a bit on my carvings and stay away from my beloved chocolates and all sorts of unhealthy things. How can I stay away from them? Can you stay away from your loved ones? Just as I was about to ignore it I sensed a sudden urge to cry and whined like a two year old in front of her with a very tensed face. To give me relief she confirmed that it wasn’t much and that she too looked just like me but like I cared at that time about that. I know they all were just lies. Sad lies. I whined all my way in the recess and asked one of my boy friends to tell me whether I seemed fat from anywhere and he at first took it in a very casual way and replied with a very satisfying no but then he snapped back and instantly replied that my face looked a bit smaller than my body! Oh no! I don’t know what to do! So as soon I rushed home I asked my father to tell me a few exercises which help reduce fat. I feel dumb now rivewing myself in the mirror now since like from the time I have reached home. I feel disgusting not just because I was told I looked fatter but also because I never believed in any of this. Where am the me which said once that beauty comes in all shapes and sizes? Where is that me? At this time I am questioning myself if I actually think that my theories are correct or just fake. Am I not pretty just because of my weight?

RED

i searched for miles and days and hours but sorry my love,
i couldn't give you a flower.
a blue, green, pink or yellow
oh my! what a foolish fellow!
tell me why you angry? did i do something wrong?
did i not sing your favorite song?
tell me i ain't that strong
to hold on waiting for your answer.

it's time , it's been too long. i must leave
but speak ! i beg you! was the dinner not tasty?
or were the lights not good?
was it me? was it the place i stood?
was it the time? or was my attire fake?
you looked up and whispered with tears
and went away leaving me with the worst fear
i can still hear those slow lines
what more could a girl take? not dresses, not wine,
not being lavishly fed
but a rose with the color of red.

doctor,doctor!

So today I am going to tell you the funniest story ever! Like ever! When I heard it I rolled onto the floor and laughed till my stomach started hurting. I was like HAHAHAHA.... so, if you’re wondering what was actually that made me laugh so hard then let me tell you about it. As my beloved father told me this incidence I was already sure of the fact that I will be rolling on the floor afterwards. In case you don’t know about my dad’s humour then let me tell you that he opens his mouth rarely for a joke, in fact he doesn’t even remembers jokes but he’s kind of an on-the-spot comedian and believe me the type of silly jokes he cracks about weird situations is just too hilarious.

This time it was just so out of this world.

I was quietly lying on the bed with my mom, I was irritating her when all of a sudden my dad joined me and started her miserable story about a patient. Early this morning while he was in his cabin a patient knocked on his door. She was a lady and by her attire she didn’t seemed well to do. If someone knocks at your door what do you do? Well I just roll out like a ninja and secretly look through the keyhole but as seen by the point of view of a normal person the man would simply get up and enquire and so did he do. He got up and asked the lady, “yes,” the lady waited and asked about the fees that my father would charge. My father got so excited about the thought of having a patient because they are so rare in this season that he got up and went near the door and in stupidity told her to first let him examine and then tell the charges. To this she insisted that she’d first like to know the fees in a very stubborn way. My father agreed and again asked what problems she was facing but again the lady asked the fees so, to her reply my dad consoled her that the fees will be taken as minimum as they can . After this I thought that the lady will be satisfied but this stupid and stubborn lady again asked that how much my father can deduct from the original fees. God! Why are there such people on earth? If I were there I would have done two things either bang y head onto the wall and yell, “why god, why!” or take the patient’s head and bang it on the wall and yell, “why Gog! Why!” being a kind doctor he told her that the original fees was 200 rupees and note that it actually isn’t but he’d give her a special and exclusive discount of 100 rupees . After hours of her inquiry my innocent little father asked her to at least tell what the problem was!!!!!!!!!!!  And after hearing the reply I wasn’t able to laugh anymore. Like suddenly I went all poker faces -_- . Ppppppppoker facepppoker face, ppppoker face ppppppoker face, can’t read my, can’t read my, nobody can read my Poker Face.

The irony of the situation was that the lady who spent all her energy and time about asking the ‘FEES’ wasn’t actually the patient! She wasn’t even going to get examined!

The reason why I have lost faith in people.

Now comes the absolutely funny part! Finally when the lady agreed my father rushed towards the counter as if he was flash and told the assistant to take THE GODDAMN FEES!!!!!!!!!!! Before this huge step that he had taken was another huge reason. As per his experience such patients just come and go. They leave without even paying the money.

Such incidents make me want to leave this planet. It’s only because of such cases that I’d never become doctor and never advice one to become one! Comment about your visit to the doctor. What type of a character were you?

and i asked what the hell is love???

Someone once told me that love is the greatest existing force on earth and that it could change things .although it can but one can’t expect its result to be in the good or the bad. People say that love is too young and vulnerable at first and has to be taken care of like a baby but gradually it becomes a mature adult which is allowed to roam free without any concern. Love is also like a bud which blossoms and wins a million hearts but at the same time its beauty is only till the day it’s watered. I have never experienced love but only a few of us actually will. In today’s generation keeping your heart open to people can only leave us damaged, said a broken hearted. What wrong did she said? Maybe nothing because the one who’d try that is more likely to be called a fool but that’s where we all fail in this love game because true lover of one will accept the broken hearted as they are. They will love all the flaws and repair the damages and take care you and be a nurse to the broken heart so that one day it finally smiles and realises who he actually loves.

The one who sought beauty never had it in the face, said the studious girl next door. She sobbed and said that the one who looks for beauty never actually gets it. Beauty is just a complementary gift of sight, the ones who have it, find it even in the ugliest things of all. Looks can be to die for but a good heart is to kill for. Why do girls dress up to get a boy? Because they know that one will never love them unless they look like an angel who just got down from heaven but the sad truth is that such girls make a fool of them and let their heart be broken by someone who is mending with their emotions without any care at all.

Love is eternity, said the old man standing near his wife’s grave. Love isn’t always physical, sometimes it’s just the way someone can make you smile without them being with you... just the way of you thinking about somebody which sends butterflys down your stomach. Ah! That one thought and everything is bliss. Love isn’t about holding hands, it’s just about holding up a smile. Love is infinite even though you still can’t be there for hugs or kisses. It’s just about how much you miss them that every second feels like a day passing by.

Love is a game, said the sportsman. You need to win a heart before you take the trophy. You need patience, practise and skill. You need to be good at it. You need to compromise what you carve for your goal, your love. That day you shall win.

Love isn’t just about that big day, said the newly wedded wife. Love isn’t always about dreaming with who you want to spend your life with. It’s not at all about naming your kids beforehand or exchanging vows. It’s just about how special is your each day and how honestly you stand up to the vows you made. That’s true love.

It’s a contrast outfit, said the fashion designer. Love isn’t about able to complete each other’s sentences and doing the same things. True love is different yet the same. You don’t need to be a matching accessory for your outfit, sometimes quirky is fun. Never be the same. Just be the way you are. If you need to change your clothes to match with your lover then I am sorry but it’s not true love.

Then what is love? Asked the little girl. If you look across the globe or people near you, you’d find love. Be it living or dead it’s everywhere. Love isn’t always correct and it’s mistaken too but it’s fun, quirky and delightful. Much to make your day. Not to be together but be together forever. To be the opposite but still attract. Love is just about finding it and let it grow each day. Love is about happiness and joy. Love is you