a painting on the wall

we all are captivated by seeing beautiful pictures. we all at some point of our lives wanted to become an artist. everyone of us have dreamt about things and tried to picture it. there hasn't been a day in which i havn't doodled inside my old and boring textbook(believe me it becomes twice hard to control myself from doodling in notebooks) . if you come to visit my class then let me remind you that all those stupid and non sensible "n" shaped doodles that you find on your seat or desk are my creations. time passes by and all of us throw our passions inside the dustbin or we just forget it but i, to be lucky enough kept it with me and learnt drawing portraits. i may not be as good as others but i am trying. so, some of us, the doodlers like me who went out and achieved big became millionaire through their art. i sometimes wonder how drawing a line can make me a million.while i am still figuring it out some people are too busy adoring those lines. what actually goes through the artist's mind isn't even known to the artist himself until someone finally comes up to him to know the whole story. 

some paintings make us go "ouch!" while others make us go "aww" . keeping that in mind here's my poem "a paining on the wall" . hope you like it

A painting on the wall

With a deciduous tree,

Showing beauty of the fall

Says enough to me.

Depicting every part of it

Without a mic to speak,

All full of orange, 

With a hint of green., but

Seems like spring to me.

What is it? Just a plain Sheet.

Made up of paper and trees.

Printed with some colors

Attracting each.,

Wanting me to stay ,

Look at the beauty

Of every detail,

 I am unable to see

Just a tree with nothing To feel.

.                                                                     As the light closes

                                                                      I will have  to go ,

                                                               

but I will come Back in summer,

and in snow,

seeing the branches

And the leaves,

 will they grow?

RED

i searched for miles and days and hours but sorry my love,
i couldn't give you a flower.
a blue, green, pink or yellow
oh my! what a foolish fellow!
tell me why you angry? did i do something wrong?
did i not sing your favorite song?
tell me i ain't that strong
to hold on waiting for your answer.

it's time , it's been too long. i must leave
but speak ! i beg you! was the dinner not tasty?
or were the lights not good?
was it me? was it the place i stood?
was it the time? or was my attire fake?
you looked up and whispered with tears
and went away leaving me with the worst fear
i can still hear those slow lines
what more could a girl take? not dresses, not wine,
not being lavishly fed

but a rose with the color of red.

spongebob

we all have our own list of worries. some people are too busy counting theirs while others just throw it at their problem's face, i mean just imagine it. hilarious. we all are humans and all of us tend to worry and get nervous hopefully only some of us still wet their pants. thank god for that because if that happens a lot then i guess stages have to keep atleast 10 sweepers daily. thinking of this i am disgusted already to go to the stage tomorrow. thanks already brain! we all are full of emotions and thoughts and ideas even though our generation has mostly the nonsense ones but look on the brighter side of it! atleast we have a full functioning brain! i am a rfeally anxious person , i get tensed on typical things . yes,you can count any normal thing that you do and if you can't think then let me give you today's example.

since the last week we are going to our main branch and i know that you already know what for but in case if you don't then here's my tip : 1.read my last published post girl! and 2.you look like a uniciorn probably because noone has ever seen one. lol i am so weird. anyway as we are going to have a super-duper annual function this year after like 3 or 4 years our school fauculty suddenly arised and shined with the most disgusting idea of all to cancel both our carnivals and practise for our annual function. yep, i know i should have killed them already but nah... m good. so,we are enjoying a lot practicing there with our friends over there and having fun and all kinds of stuff people do in schools except studies. everyday was the same, we all girls of the same class boarded a bus and left for the other branch and i was thankfully seated by some girls which i knew and this new seating arrangement took place today. i wasn't aware of anything related to the "pom-pom group" don't judge me , i know it's hideous but since we are designated as cheerleaders in our dance i think it isn't that bad . after a whole tiring day i finally boarded the bus and talked for hours with the girls sitting next to me and then later i came to know that all the costumes were distributed and i wasn't even there so i had no costume to be worn but then i asked my ma'am about my dress and she told me that she had locked it in the cupboard and i felt a tiny bit of relief but then the monster inside me woke up and started yelling like spongebob , yes, it's that bad and i got freaked out and since i called my bestie just right now i got shocked. she told me that all the costumes were ill-fitted and UN-ironed and i wanted to break down into pieces after hearing this. so, i freaked out again and decided to Google to how to not take stress and after reading the same  crap again and again i decided to do it my way and i felt wonderful after doing it the way i wanted. i went to the washroom and did my thing and sat there for a while,closed my eyes and thought about my present where i had nothing to do but accept the fact that it was totally impossible to break into the school right now and find my dress . then i thought about the past, it's gone and it's history and i need to remember more about our freedom fighters rather than how the dress dispersal went and in the future i made plans for things to go perfectly as i have thought. end of it. i opened my eyes and talked to myself that  it's a waste of time to worry about such small things when i have bigger things to worry about like ebola or maybe my dinner! 

the thing is i want my experience to be someone's guidance. yes, obviously i have read that quote which says that i want to hear someone say to me that because of you i didn't stopped but right now i am being a very kind person and you should cherish that. i wanted  my problem to be solved . i wanted to help others who are thinking the same or who have been trapped or caged by their own thoughts. who are mot willing to meditate or are running out of time,money or love. anything. my solution to become someone else's answer too! so, if you are going through a mental trauma then please visit my blog! god, i am so greedy but it's my good too! I've done enough kindness for today!but seriously i know how that feels and those weird butterflies and things getting onto your nerves. just in case nothing like that happens to you, you better pass a human or robot test. 

we all are same and equal and blah blah blah...... sorry but I've done enough for today.

beautiful

“A real girl isn’t perfect and a perfect girl isn’t real”

We all dream of perfection, being perfect is what everyone possibly desires. What is perfection? Having beauty? Flawless silky smooth hair? Or a unique fashion sense? No, certainly not. For me perfection is being myself without a damn to the world. By being myself I am ready for everything not that I have to prepare myself. I wonder why girls hide themselves from people or public and it tears my heart apart when they have a pretty face to win the world. All because they don’t think that they are not good enough? Well if you know the truth, you are beautiful not in looks, just the way you are. No wonder your skin colour or your face, the height or that lady grace. Beauty is all we carve but all this time you never realise that while collecting the rocks you lost a diamond, shining inside you. Wearing a million dollar dress won’t make anything look good instead wearing your million dollar smile can light up the whole town.

I just don’t get it why people listen to those stupid comments about them even though it’s been taught a thousand times that what someone says can never affect you. If someone says you are mad, you are possibly not going to be made until the rest of your life. These types of comments about one’s personality or self can destroy the whole confidence. That when these makeup companies take advantage. They lure you into thinking of yourself worthless and appeal to fix it all by their cosmetics. No eye shadow, no mascara can define how deep you eyes are. Even if it’s a pimple, never be ashamed or try to hide it it’s a part of you. Throw that makeup in the bin, where it belongs.

Don’t ever try to show what you are not because pretending that is much worse than a lie in fact it is a lie. Applying makeup hides your face meaning that it hides you and despite how much you feel good after applying it on you are never going to be that same person again. When you clean that off I wonder how you look at yourself. After betraying your true face how can you expect your true side to sleep with you the whole night and hide in the morning?

All everyone dreams is to be loved by everyone. Applying a ton of foundation isn’t going to make everyone love you. The ones who love you will never like you because of a pretty face. They’ll love you no matter how you are. They will accept you as it are. Just the way you are. And that’s when you’ll know that no matter how pathetic you look people who really care for you will care because love happens, not for a reason .an life that given to you can always be made better don’t let your beauty fade...... not inside. Because in the end no one will remember how good you looked they will remember how good your deeds were. Never let your face be ruined. And if you feel insecure about yourself how come you are expecting someone else to love you? Love yourself. You are lovely and god’s own creation doesn’t let him down. 

summertime sadness

While laying on my bed with a bucket full of sweat and a moist cotton bedsheet and a mind full of pointless dreams I woke up to see my air conditioner resting. Doesn’t it give you a sudden urge to slap the life out of that dumb a/c which has forced me to now wake up and turn it on again and it expects me to sleep the way I was sleeping. But it isn’t entirely my a/c’s fault because it’s just helping me shed my expenses. It all looks fearsome at once when you receive the summer’s first electricity bill and look down at your pocket to see money that doesn’t even add up to half the cost but then, what are parents for. They give you all the comfort of the world and then in return demand your ears and senses to fully work while they scold and blame you for all the expenses , a long lecture full of things that might lure you into setting fire to all your belongings.

Guess that time of the year when you feel like a cactus? That time when if u just even roll your clothes you can have a full glass of erm.... water (in a way it is) and when even the slightest reference to blankets and hot coffee can make you puke. No, it’s not the end of the world, it’s summer. Yesterday while scrolling through my instagram feed I came across so many posts which mentioned how lovely summer is. Oh please summer isn’t going to be about spending your day at the beach and spray tans. It’s also about returning home and googling remedies to remove it. I wonder why people even want summer. It’s so nice at first but slowly it starts getting to you until you can’t take it anymore is what becomes the problem. I hope somebody makes a movie about it .

While everyone waits for winter I wait for summer because my birthday comes in the month of may! Yay! This time it was awesome. Anyway....

Since morning I have been drinking  energy drinks and all sorts of drinks except liquor to hydrate my body and save it from accidentally dropping  on top of unknown people. Summer is all about fun and pretty sunshine that peeps through the windows, the glass and tiny cracks. It spreads out and gives us a sunkissed tan and sand that slips from our bodies with wavy hair and curls and that salty taste. Music,fun,dance and so much more.so get out and explore. Wear short dresses. Stop applying different pastes over your bodies . stop wearing jeans. Stop wearing a hat or sunscreen. Just stop all of it .

If there is summer than let it be.

when life's a mess

Hello everyone! My sincerest apologies to everyone for not being able to post since a long long time. The reason behind that is the beginning of my new semester which brings me to ninth standard. First of all my perception of this year has been totally outdone by some people’s actions that have made my life a joke. For 2014 I had cried, been into dramas and felt unhappy but that didn’t meant I never smiled, of course I did... it was a lovely year. Since the beginning of this year things have taken a wrong turn leading to a bouncy road which makes me want to puke so badly. Firstly I got into an accident which made me lose something irreplaceable from my body, and then my grades went low. I wasn’t sent to the school I had been dreaming of going to since the beginning of my last semester and then my friends left but now they have joined me again (yippee!)And then lastly the students in my class are awful and some friends have gotten me into a whole load of drama. So till now I have been dealing with so much emotionally which will make you question why I didn’t penned it down on the paper  but the answer is my sick teachers and tuitions and studies and the extra things I had to do for the betterment of my class and oh god I’ll die.

So, nowadays since I’ve been going through so much I’d like to share how I cope up with drama. Since drama queens are everywhere.

First of all I’d like to ask if it’s just me or everyone’s head’s a mess when they get into troubles. Earlier I used to sit and let the hormones do the talking which obviously was shit talk because I actually never heard myself. I used to just let it all become gravy and all the thoughts churn which made me feel that I need to be systematic, even if it’s inside my head. The only time I realised this was when I had to collect my dress at the last day of my annual function practise and I wasn’t present there. So my human instincts got turned up because I started panicking for not being able to wear the dress from my home. Now that I think about it, it was a very stupid reason to be stressed about but anyway. I got home and all day long it went through the deep dark fears and over thinking inside my head and created an imaginary situation which according to me was to happen. Even if it was a combination of all the worst that could happen. So I went to the bathroom and sat on the pot and closed my eyes and took a deep breath and calmly put the situation in front of me. I figured it all step by step and when I opened my eyes, this eddying hormone that was panicking inside completely vanished.

That’s why ocd is not a disease it’s a way of living.

Secondly I read a quote while scrolling through my facebook feed (finally facebook has got of some use) that stop stressing over things because the thing you are stressing over right now is the thing that won’t even matter to you in a year from now and after reading it I reflected back upon all those silly things and by the use of the term silly I realised that I was over them and they didn’t even affected me now. Even if some do. Time has healed them and I don’t panic over them or let this hormone inside me do the way I used to.

It made me realise nothing is permanent and if it is, time is the world’s best healer. So let it do its work

Sometimes when I stress over the things I did that affected me and I wanted to get out of that situation and not just get out but get out clean. Means blaming someone else and wiping my own hands. Like a situation a year ago in which I hurted a very good friend and I was being selfish I searched for some support. This support didn’t come from any such articles or songs or people but motivational pictures on Google. This made me not so guilty and raised a hope inside that all of us do mistakes and it’s ok to do one once in a while.

In some situations when our mind gets annoyed and doesn’t even want to accept any piece of advice from anyone all I do is waiting. Even though I suck at doing the above things I still can become a great philosopher because if I can’t help myself I can at least help people.

Because less drama means more joy.

who shopped?

Once upon a time a very lonely, sad and poor girl went to meet the princess to show her, her skills at crotchet but halfway through she returned. The next day she again dressed up in a crotchet frock and halfway returned. The very next day she wore her crotchet top and halfway through she again returned. For the very next week she wore all her crotchet things and returned to her home. On seeing this god himself was puzzled to see such an idiotic creature who everyday wore something different and yet decided to return halfway. He was so puzzled because unlike every girl she had many clothes but still she felt insecure. So he went down in the most appealing way possible and showed his glory to the girl. The girl couldn’t believe her eyes at first because of the mesmerising scene but since god didn’t had enough time as he had to also pay his pizza boy who was standing at his door he had to make it quick so he skipped his three line introduction and lightning and echo sound effects and talked to the girl. He said, “oh my! What is it that stops you from meeting the princess everyday even though you have the finest skill and clothes in town?” The girl understood and said, “Dear lord! I never demanded for new clothes! And I hardly ever go shopping!” Hearing this the god again questioned her, “so, what is it that has been stopping you?” the girl curled up into a ball and started weeping she hardly could utter something in between her dropping  nose and loud cries still she managed to say , “it’s.... it’s... it’s....” . “Oh tell it you?” said the god taking out his chequebook for the girl to stop crying and buy some new clothes. He surely knew every girl’s problems and how to deal with it but the girl said, “oh dear god, you may know how to console a girl but you can never know her choices.” Hearing this god asked, “Why? How much do you need to buy yourself new cloths?” giggling the girl replied, “I might need money but not because I don’t have enough clothes but because I don’t have enough jewellery.” On hearing this god and the town went into a shock and never returned..... Tad dada!

Hello everyone! So, today I went shopping and this story was what exactly I felt at a certain time. Since my friends called off out outing I went out with my relatives and a dear friend out for a hunt! There are basically two types of girls

1.       The cheap shopper: now, these girls don’t give a damn on the price of whatever they are wearing. They don’t care if it’s from the thrift shop or a street hawker or a fancy mall. They are basically such extreme bargainers that they take it as a do or die. I don’t know how a girl next to me bargained something for half the price and I am still confused if the price he sold it to me for was correct or not. These girls have another anthem. “We don’t need any company tag, we don’t need any clarification. Just sell this at the price I want. Hey, shopkeepers! Give me the damn stole.” If you found it more as a statement then I must clarify you that read it again as the tune of another brick in the wall. Now, when these girls step on the street it’s like a war. Every shopkeeper knows that this is the bomb and she’s gonna bargain him to death or even after death. (insert spooky music) I mean they completely don’t care if they are caught wearing a thrift shop top. They have like everything in their closet and hardly any of that is branded

2.       The rich daddy: now, to be honest everything works in this world through money so don’t save your values for a value exchange sale because that’s not happening. It’s more like give me money and I’ll give you freaking good things. All every girl wants is a millionaire boyfriend, daddy or husband. So if you rich but really ugly and you hate to admit it but you still have a girlfriend then please take your eyes off this post right now or it could cause some serious damage to your heart. The other type of readers who don’t understand such deep shit keep reading and the thing you have a girlfriend if your money. No girl ever said she wouldn’t date a rich lad. How can someone be so cruel? Who couldn’t have said that? (insert weeping noises)

All these pretty girls at the bar or the pub are the product of expensive makeup, jewellery, manicure, hairdo, dress, shoes and so much more. If you spot any girl like this make sure you become a good friend of her because no one knows what type of trouble his daddy might get you out of. These girls don’t give a damn about expenses. Their whole one month expense it my year’s. I’m glad you know that I am poor. (That was sarcastic) they are like walking into a store whose range starts with $0829736 and they are the main reason why brands are getting so expensive. If people would stop going to such stores, wouldn’t they have to decrease their prices? All in short: because they are rich and they know it.

And then there’s me..... Although I am happy that I have so much but you know girls! Enough is never enough! Comment your shopping desires!