when life's a mess

Hello everyone! My sincerest apologies to everyone for not being able to post since a long long time. The reason behind that is the beginning of my new semester which brings me to ninth standard. First of all my perception of this year has been totally outdone by some people’s actions that have made my life a joke. For 2014 I had cried, been into dramas and felt unhappy but that didn’t meant I never smiled, of course I did... it was a lovely year. Since the beginning of this year things have taken a wrong turn leading to a bouncy road which makes me want to puke so badly. Firstly I got into an accident which made me lose something irreplaceable from my body, and then my grades went low. I wasn’t sent to the school I had been dreaming of going to since the beginning of my last semester and then my friends left but now they have joined me again (yippee!)And then lastly the students in my class are awful and some friends have gotten me into a whole load of drama. So till now I have been dealing with so much emotionally which will make you question why I didn’t penned it down on the paper  but the answer is my sick teachers and tuitions and studies and the extra things I had to do for the betterment of my class and oh god I’ll die.

So, nowadays since I’ve been going through so much I’d like to share how I cope up with drama. Since drama queens are everywhere.

First of all I’d like to ask if it’s just me or everyone’s head’s a mess when they get into troubles. Earlier I used to sit and let the hormones do the talking which obviously was shit talk because I actually never heard myself. I used to just let it all become gravy and all the thoughts churn which made me feel that I need to be systematic, even if it’s inside my head. The only time I realised this was when I had to collect my dress at the last day of my annual function practise and I wasn’t present there. So my human instincts got turned up because I started panicking for not being able to wear the dress from my home. Now that I think about it, it was a very stupid reason to be stressed about but anyway. I got home and all day long it went through the deep dark fears and over thinking inside my head and created an imaginary situation which according to me was to happen. Even if it was a combination of all the worst that could happen. So I went to the bathroom and sat on the pot and closed my eyes and took a deep breath and calmly put the situation in front of me. I figured it all step by step and when I opened my eyes, this eddying hormone that was panicking inside completely vanished.

That’s why ocd is not a disease it’s a way of living.

Secondly I read a quote while scrolling through my facebook feed (finally facebook has got of some use) that stop stressing over things because the thing you are stressing over right now is the thing that won’t even matter to you in a year from now and after reading it I reflected back upon all those silly things and by the use of the term silly I realised that I was over them and they didn’t even affected me now. Even if some do. Time has healed them and I don’t panic over them or let this hormone inside me do the way I used to.

It made me realise nothing is permanent and if it is, time is the world’s best healer. So let it do its work

Sometimes when I stress over the things I did that affected me and I wanted to get out of that situation and not just get out but get out clean. Means blaming someone else and wiping my own hands. Like a situation a year ago in which I hurted a very good friend and I was being selfish I searched for some support. This support didn’t come from any such articles or songs or people but motivational pictures on Google. This made me not so guilty and raised a hope inside that all of us do mistakes and it’s ok to do one once in a while.

In some situations when our mind gets annoyed and doesn’t even want to accept any piece of advice from anyone all I do is waiting. Even though I suck at doing the above things I still can become a great philosopher because if I can’t help myself I can at least help people.

Because less drama means more joy.