10 reasons to
kill yourself on Sundays
1.
Dead boring!!
So,
you just got up extremely late and with a tired face full of marks caused by
you body pressing to hard on the uneven surface of your bed or pillow and after
completing all the essential grooming tasks like brushing your grossed out
teeth to combing out the dread locks I mean tanglead hair and bathing your
smelly body. Ah! But after that when you wald down the stairs looking like
99.9% germ free person in the world you realise that there is nothing more to
do on a typical Sunday and you are there like -_- (blank). Honestly this
happens with me everytime I wake up to another boring Sunday.
2.
Expectation v/s reality
Everytime
I make plans to groom myself using those really attracting tips found on
finterest by scrolling through the pins all the time and then I make a perfect
imaginary plan of working things out on time . like waking up at 9 , getting
ready till 10,studying for hours till I drop dead and on Monday I be like “ 3x +272830193-8392746573647697927493783686
- (k9786376272668468648468264864846846)X
877tr4443566778900 omg! That’s
damn easy!!!!!” then painting and completing my old paintings and undone
stuff and blah blah blah...... but what
actually happens is......
11:30
–just woke up
1:00-still
feeling sleepy, haven’t brushed yet
2:00p.m.-
mum yelling, going to bathe but first let me text my friends #textingaddiction
3:00
p.m. –just sat on the dining table and the food makes me want to puke. Can you
hand me a bucket please?
4:00
p.m. –text, text,text, tv,tv, tv, phone,phone,phone,laptop,laptop,laptop,
selfie ,selfie,selfie
5:00p.m.
– ah! Nothing to do... half of the time wasted already maybe I’ll work up my
schedule for the next Sunday!
6-7:00p.m.
–ugggh!!!! I am bored. Let me click some selfies
8:00p.m.
– talking to friends
Omg! Yo saw that girl! She’s so
fat! Omg her hair looked so weird today(giggles). Yeah....
9:00p.m.
– dinner’s ready!
10-1:00a.m.-
now let’s sleep. (yawns, mouth big enough to swallow the whole town)
Yes,
so this is what actually happens to me evrytime I wake up to another Sunday!!!!
Maybe I should just quit making schedules.
3.
Here comes Sunday’s bff!
Is
it me or does everyone else also seem to think more about Monday on a Sunday?
Sometimes all I do on a Sunday is think about Monday. Like what I am going to
wear or what am I suppose to do etc. Feels like we should rename this day to
let-us-think-about-Monday-day or prequel to Monday day. It’s sometimes like a
short trailer before the blockbuster but mostly it’s an unexpected piece of
boring cinema. Evrytime I try to get over the point 1. In my list I
automatically do this point. How do I keep myself busy to stop being busy
thinking about Monday! And yet again
after every type of trial I end up on point no. 2 . if you too do the same then
comment about the things you do on a very specially planned Monday! And
whatever part of it actually happened.
4.
Nighty night honey!
All
day I am busy on the damn t.v. and after hours of scanning through the
programme guide in the menu I finally found some shows kind of worth watching.
Atleast better than those shows in which they are like ------
Max:
earlier I used to love you sara but now I love Emily
Emily:
what? You told me you loved sara!
Max:
oh no! What do I do now!
Sara:
pick any one of us.
Max:
no,I can’t! I love you both!
Emily:
yes, so you can have us both!
*and
they lived happily ever after . had 30 kids and 45 grandchildren and lived for
104 years but unfortunately they died out of a severe attack of jaundice and
malaria and typhoid all at the same time but got reborn after eating a special
vitamin. The end*
Well,
that was some really realistic piece of work!!! Hats off to such vivid
imagination! But you know I’d rather just watch the really nice music awards
which will telecast at 9:00p.m. but I just had a heart attack! The show goes on
till 1 in the night! Omg! What do I do! I can’t see that show then . guess I’d
have to miss miley cyrus’s another wild performance. L
let’s see what else have we got on the t.v. .
Guess
what happened next?
Yeah
all the good shows end somewhere around midnight which is not possible for me
to stay awake till that time and get each and every glimpse of the
controversies as much as I can. Just have to finish my popcorn faster then.
The
basic problem with a Sunday is that the next day is a Monday. Monday is a
working day and Sunday is a relaxing one so , according to my study I must
request god to add another day for the hangover of Sunday. If that would happen
then I’d be able to watch all my shows. Thank you.
5.
Namaste aunti ji
You
all must be wondering what actually the above line means? It is a kind of
greeting to any elderly lady in the house. Except your mom. The basic problem
of Sunday is not only my
soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
busy schedule but also relatives. Some offering to visit my home and some
inviting me to theirs. See, today let me clear this out that even though aunt and uncle you offer me like
a 100 pounds I won’t step into that house of yours. I know it’s rude but I just
don’t feel like killing myself to death in suh a brutal way and hope you don’t
want to get yourself killed either. If you want to visit my mom please do come
and meet her, hug her or even let me pack her so you can even take her with you
but don’t tell my mum to drag me along just to sit their on your couch while
you all chitter-chatter. I have no interest in knowing the latest grocery wages.
Seriously. Sundays aren’t that bad but let’s not visit our dearly family
members on that day .
6.
Test tomorrow.....
I’ve
noticed this that whenever I finally decide to have a full fun day I always end
up having tests the very next day. I guess that’s enough to explain all my
sadness. Oh tests I curse you!
7.
Let us go shopping for ..........
Someone
shoot me with a gun if my mother wants me to go shopping for her neice’s
mother’s grandfather’s father’s uncle’s aunt’s daughter with only her waist
size. One thing is that it’s for that unknown girl who I don’t even know is am
alien or kangaroo or 1% human. She has a waist size 5 times larger than me and
you want me to try on clothe’s that’d fit her! Are you going to buy 5 dresses
to match her size ?
And
please for god’s sake don’y dare ask me what she likes because I have not
mastered the art of knowing people’s choices without them even knowing. Now
that I have come here with you mom I just want to ask when am I getting a
dress? You see till now we have bought one for everyone
Mom:
shutup!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Me:
oh... ok. Maybe I’ll just master the art of knowing people without knowing them
but you just calm down.
I
wish I hadn’t gone to any family function ever so that I would have never met
this unknown girl and never been invited to her birthday so never have got here
to buy her a dress.
8.
Too lazy to shower, too lazy to get
up.......................................
Probably
too lazy and lethargic on Sundays to even write what I actually mean about it
because all I want to do right now is lay on a feather like bed.
9.
I am crazy , I am crazy, must be stupid
if you think that I can be normal again...
I
just
couldn’t
think of anything else because as I recalled all my past Sundays one thing was
sure that I act strange, annoying and arrogant everyday but on Sunday I am mad.
Just mad.
Stranger:
hi!
Me:
hoooolllllllleleeee holeleeelelelel
*walks
away*
Yep,
I am crazy and I know it!
10. Finally!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So,
we are somehow to the end of these ten reasons and I think that I just ran out
of ideas and so, I just want you to pick up the nearest object and bang
yourself with it and then slap yourself
because another reason to kill yourself is to stop reading my blog. As
on Sundays I mostly don’t write. I know you all love me ! but sorry Sundays are
fun days and so, once a week you can survive without me. Can’t you?
Well....................... I’m so done that I want to bang my face on the
laptop screen and after me finishing, so will you.
Bbye!!!
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